Why Trying to Live Like Someone Else Keeps Wearing You Down

I recently saw a video of several white ducks waddling calmly into the water. They stepped off the bank without hesitation and floated easily, moving farther out with confidence.

Just behind them was a brown chicken.

The chicken followed the ducks into the water. It tried to do what they were doing. But instead of floating, it struggled. Its wings flapped. Its body sank closer to the surface. What worked effortlessly for the ducks did not work the same way for the chicken.

The problem wasn’t effort.
It wasn’t desire.
It wasn’t discipline.

It was design.

When Comparison Becomes Harmful

Many people don’t struggle because they aren’t trying hard enough. They struggle because they are using a model that was never meant for them.

They follow advice that works beautifully for others.
They adopt routines, coping strategies, or wellness practices that look successful from the outside.
They tell themselves that if they just try harder, they’ll eventually feel the same ease they see in other people.

But ease isn’t always about effort. Sometimes it’s about fit.

The Quiet Cost of Imitation

Trying to live like someone else often sounds reasonable:

“This works for everyone else.”
“I should be able to do this too.”
“I just need to be more consistent.”
“I don’t want to be difficult or different.”

So you keep going. You adjust the setting. You change the rules. You modify the plan.

But changing the environment doesn’t change who you are.

A lake, a river, or the edge of the water still requires swimming. And some bodies were never meant to float that way.

This Isn’t About Failure

Wanting to function like other people isn’t about weakness. It’s about belonging.

It’s about wanting things to feel easier. Wanting relief. Wanting to stop feeling like you’re doing something wrong when everyone else seems fine.

But the truth is this:
Struggle doesn’t always mean you’re broken. Sometimes it means you’re misaligned.

A chicken doesn’t become more capable by staying in the water longer. It becomes safer by getting back to solid ground.

A More Honest Measure of Wellness

Wellness is not about doing what works for the most people.
It’s about doing what works for you.

That might mean:

letting go of routines that exhaust you instead of energize you
questioning advice that feels good in theory but harmful in practice
allowing your needs to look different without explaining them

Alignment often feels like relief, not achievement.

A Gentle Reframe

You don’t need to become a duck to live well.

You need to recognize where you’re forcing yourself to operate in conditions you weren’t built for. And then, slowly, choose environments, habits, and expectations that support who you actually are.

This isn’t about giving up.
It’s about coming home to yourself.

Closing

There is nothing wrong with the chicken.

The struggle begins when it tries to live as something it’s not.

Knowing your design isn’t a limitation.
It’s protection.

You’re Not a Duck. And That Matters.